Jack Scarborough

Story 1: The Turdle Attack MP1

Jamie was very impatient. He had been waiting in this extremely long line for what seemed hours. He just wanted to get some stinkin' pizza! "Finally!", he thought as he got to the front of the line. Just then, he heard his name. "James Wales, please report to the office." came from the loud speaker. The voice sounded a little different from the usual voice, but Jamie didn't really think much about it. He was too busy freaking out. "WHAT!!!!!!" he thought with apprehension." apprehension . "I'm just getting my pizza right know and pizza day is only once a month!" All the kids waiting in line gave him a sympathetic look. The kid behind him, his best friend Alex, said, "You better go. I'll get you some pizza. Do you want cheese, pepperoni, or sausage? "Sausage", Jamie said. He wondered why he was being called to the office. He was a straight A student, which was rare in his school's 6th grade. He only got detention once for super gluing his friend to the ceiling in 5th grade. Other than that, he has never done anything worth being penalized in school. "Maybe my mom is just picking me up early." "But why?", he thought as he walked into the office. As soon as he strolled into the office, he knew something was wrong. The room was pitch black. He turned on the lights. He screamed. The desks were overturned. The wall mounted TV was shattered. And then there was the unconscious bodies. The principal and vice principal were on the ground, face down, with what looked like a brand that you would put on a horse on their necks. Jamie was horrified as much as he was mystified. "Who or what could have done such a thing!?", he thought. Then, he noticed that all of the marks were all on their necks in a certain way. They all looked like this word: RABBIT "What happened here!", he thought. "The rise of the evil bunny rabbits?!" All of the sudden, a huge object flies through the window and hovers in front of him. "Kind of." "Who is that?", Jamie said in a frightened, squeaky voice. "I am Lord Glorifor from the RABBIT galaxy." "What the heck is he talking about.", thought Jamie. He didn't really like astronomy, but he was pretty sure that there was no RABBIT galaxy in the known universe. "But we are not from your universe", Lord Glorifor said. "But, what, how?! "We can read minds like they are open books. Except we can't find out names without the permission of the owner of that name. But, we can find out what your questions are. I know you wonder who we are, what we are doing here, how we got here, and when we got here." "Yes, yes, yes, and yes.", he said. "Well, first things first, we are Rambunctious Aggressive Big Blubbery Iconic Turdles! "Whaaaaat?!?!?!", Jamie said. All of the sudden, a being appeared in front of him. It had a turtle head, legs, feet, and tail, but other than that, it was a giant walking turd. It was standing on a It was about 3 feet tall and 5 feet long. And it was holding what looked like one of those futuristic guns in science fiction movies. The turdle spoke again, "We are here to kidnap a certain James or, "Jamie", as they call him. "What is this kid's last name?", Jamie asked reluctantly, fearing the answer. "Oh, um, Jamie Wales, or something like that." "What were you going to do with that Jamie kid?" "Bring him to my home planet in the RABBIT galaxy, and do experiments on him so we understand "super" carbon based life-forms." "But why this one kid? And why are you calling him super?" "He is what you humans call a super hero. He is young enough that his powers haven't emerged, but is old enough that they will by the time we get back to our home planet." "Do you know what his powers are?" "Why, yes I do. He will find that within the next two minutes he will have telekinetic, and logic warping powers. He will also control the elements. With those powers, he will be able to fly, shoot energy spikes out of his brain, and much, much more." "Why him?", Jamie said. "No reason whatsoever. It's just birth mutation, like the X-Men I think that was what you humans call them." "So it is just random? It could happen to anybody?" "Yes. In fact, thousands of babies born this year have that same gene that this James Wings has. They are all powerful, but all of the other people in this world with this gene combined couldn't possible beat James Whales in a fight, because he is the first, so he has the power of god-like beings by the name of Eet mor Chickin!" "Are you sure these beings aren't cows??" "Actually, they are apparently lime traveling cows from the future." "What?!" "Now enough with the chit-chat, where can I find this Wales kid?" "I will tell you, only if you promise that you won't bring him to your planet without his permission." "Well... fine. Now tell me where he is." "I'm James Wales." "What?! You mean I could have kidnapped you this whole time?" "Yep" "Well, that sucks, but I have to keep my word. Can I kidnap you? Jamie is confused. "Do you normally  ask for  permission if you can kidnap someone?", he says. "Yep", the turdle-alien thing said. "It is a custom on my planet to ask before hand. It is considered polite." "Well, on this planet, it is not considered polite, even if you ask before hand." "Oh, okay."

Moral:

Story Two: The Dolphin Life MP2

Okay. I haven't had any time to write this down until now. You know, because all the news people, and all, but finally things have died down enough that I have a few minutes were I don't have to meet the president, retell my story, or do my chores, so here it goes. Where should I start? Lets see... Before the experiment. Yes. That's what I'll do. But first, let me introduce myself. My name is Michael Pierce, and I am about to tell you about being a dolphin. So, about two years ago, I discovered that I had a deadly version of brain cancer. My mom, dad, and sister were heartbroken. They really cared about me. I didn't listen when the doctors told me I was going to die. I looked everywhere for a solution, until I found, on the 345,823rd result for "solution+cancer+fast", the Delco Science Corporation. I opened it up, mostly because it had a cool logo. I looked at the pictures. "Why are there pictures of dolphins?", I thought. So, I read the article. The fist sentence read,"BREAKTHROUGH IN BIO-MECHANICS!!! Intrigued, I continued. It went on about how this new machine that was just invented worked. My mouth dropped when I read what it did. "This machine is able to turn living objects into other living objects. So far, they have turned a rose into a snake, a banana into an eel, etc. They needed a volunteer for human testing. They warned that if it didn't work, the volunteer would die. I'm like, What the heck, I'm going to die anyway, so I volunteered. I had to put in my name,, e-mail, birthday, and any diseases that I have. For diseases, I put "deadly brain cancer." Then, I pressed send. Almost immediately, I got an e-mail back. It said, "Congratulations! You have qualified to be a human test subject. You have to report to the nearest Delco building ASAP." "Okay, then. Let's go.", I thought to myself. I hopped on my bike, and rode three miles to the Delco center. I pause at the gate, and press the intercom. A gruff voice responds immediately. "Is this Michael Pierce?", he says. I answer, "Yep." The gate whispers open. The voice says "Come in", and then the intercom shuts off. For the first time, I realize how risky this is. A cold shiver runs down my spine. I consider going back home, but then I realize I would die anyway. I think to myself,"Man Up, for god sake!", and walk through the gate to the front doorway. Well, I wouldn't really call it a doorway. It was more of a garage entrance with a door across it. I tried the handle. The door was unlocked. I pulled on it, and it opened soundlessly. Inside, there was a whole room of amazing machinery. The machines were on big tables. Behind one of these tables was a short, skinny man. On his shirt, there was a name tag that read "Bruce." He look up from the gadget that he was working on, and smiled. "Hello", he said. "My name is Bruce. Are you Michael?" I replied, "Yep, that's me." He then stopped what he was doing, and said, "Well, we better start going. There is no point in procrastinating." "Okay", I said. "Let's do this." He lead me deeper in to the pile of machines.